Of Tasers and Shiny Sparking Walking Sticks
by Merchandise
Summary: "Let me see if I follow. You want me to help your Boyfriend who is also a GOD save the world from an impending alien attack which is being led by his brother, who is not his brother but in fact a Frost Giant who wears a reindeer hat and is plotting to take over the world with his shiny sparking walking stick." FemHarry x ?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

Haven Potter stood leaning over a microscope while her fingers swiftly moved over the keyboard. Scrap paper and empty coffee cups surrounded the desk, something that was surprising considering the fact that Haven was usually very organized but her mind was on another task, too focused to even register the people who walked behind her, casting worried glances at her.

A letter fell on top of her keyboard, effectively drawing her away from her work. She looked up and saw the retreating figure of her partner Corra Devis, one of the top astrophysicists. Turning her attention back to the letter, she frowned. Even now, her magic interfered with her life, but at least now she could use the computer without causing an explosion. She looked down at the letter and found the name of a person she'd never thought she would hear from again.

_Jane Foster_

-x-

"Let me see if I follow. You want _me_ to help your Boyfriend who is also a _GOD_ save the world from an impending _alien attack_ which is being led by his brother, who is not his brother but in fact a Frost Giant who wears a _reindeer hat_ and is plotting to take over the world with his _shiny sparking walking stick._"

I stared up at Jane over the rim of mug I was cradling in my hands.

"Sweetie, Psilocybin is not something to try when you're bored."

Erik snickered behind his hand, casting an apologetic glance at Jane. Deciding to give the poor girl a break, I asked,

"What can I do Jane that you can't?"

She sighed, "Shield wants to recruit you, or that's what Thor told me. Something about helping figure out a way to calm Hulk down because it's similar to what you're working on now."

A knock on the door made me tilt my head back and give a defeated glare to Jane. Erik opened the door and I heard the shuffling of feet, still refusing to look at the door.

"Oh look," Darcy said, "they even brought Captain Puerto Rico."

I turned then to look at the man, Captain America. He was famous, even in the Wizarding World, even know though he didn't know it. Darcy was correct; his suit did indeed resemble the flag. Next to him stood a woman, with fiery red hair and an impassive expression. She wore a dark skin tight suit and she held herself up confidently. Both their eyes zeroed in on me and I knew that I'd be doing this.

Darcy looked between the agents and me before turning to me and asking,

"Have you seen my Taser?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay…this chapter's a quickie, I wanted to just add a bit more until she actually met Fury because…never mind, I won't tell you yet. **

**Thanks for everyone who reviewed, faved and followed!**

Haven POV

I quickly knotted my hair up and started to reach for my suitcase when something caught my eye. My two wands were hanging in a glass case upon my wall. Slowly walking towards it, I reached towards them. My hand stopping an inch away from the glass.

_How beautiful they were, _my original wand, my faithful companion. The intricate design where it was supposed to be held was still clear and the wand still sparkled as though it had just recently been cleaned. The Elder wand crossed over the first wand. The power the object possessed could be seen clearly in the beautifully designed wand.

_How beautiful, yet deadly, _I chided myself.

But I would need them, and so, I touched the glass, my hand simply pushing through as though the glass was not truly there. I grabbed the two wands and then placed them underneath a few clothes that I had in my messenger bag. Just as I finished, a musical knock on the door indicated that my escorts were be here.

I walked to the door and opened it, and was greeted by none other than Thor and of course, who could forget the famous Iron Man?

"Come in." I smiled,

Thor bounded in and grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"Lady Haven Potter, I have heard many good things about you and your work."

I opened my mouth to respond until Tony said, "Why do you have a Taser?"

A slight smirk found its way onto my face and I cast a glance at Thor who was glaring at the offending object that I was currently holding in my hand.

"For troublesome Gods." I smiled, tucking it into my messenger bag.

Tony looked confused, obviously he hadn't heard Darcy's detailed account on how they met Thor…and she told me with such pride of the fact that she'd used a Taser on the poor lad.

Tony gripped my hand and said, "Well Beautiful, I'm Tony Stark but you knew that."

"You're not what I expected, I didn't expect you to be –"

"This dashing? I have been told I'm more amazing in person." He smirked,

"So old." I smirked back,

He stuttered before gaping at me, resembling a fish. He sniffed before casting me what could have been considered a charming smile, "I can tell you want me."

"Oh you're right, I want you…I want you to leave." I said smirking.

I could see the amusement in his eyes though as we spoke and as Thor went to put my suitcase in the car, I sat down to slip into my shoes.

Tony walked to my counter, carelessly looking through my letters. His eyes nearly popped out of his head and he turned to me.

"You're an astrophysicist?!" He said

"You'd think the SHIELD would educate their staff. That's not the main reason they want me, they've recruited me to find a way for Dr. Bruce Banner to control himself when he is the Hulk. It's similar to the private research I've been working on." I said,

I stood up and dusted myself off before walking towards the door.

"Do you have a band aid? 'Cause I believe I've just fallen for you." Tony called from behind me.

"That must be why your face is so messed up." I called, running towards Thor.

-x-

The car ride was quiet, not the awkward sort though. Tony was speaking to Natasha, the redhead from earlier on his phone, assuring her that we would be on time and Thor was munching on a pop tart.

I had taken to fiddling with my necklace. I didn't know it was obvious until Tony asked, "What sort of stone is that?"

I slipped the stone back underneath my shirt and turned to Tony. I stared at him for a while; I didn't want to tell him, not quite yet. So I settled for,

"A stone an old friend of mine plucked from the murky waters of a river a long time ago. I never leave home without it."

"Interesting." Tony said,

I cast a smile at Thor who was looking off into space. The God knew something was up, he just didn't know what.

"So tell me of your brother, Thor." I said, effectively bringing his attention to me.

As Thor rattled on about his brother, I allowed a slight smile to grace my features. Loki sounded like a genius and his tricks reminded me of home.

No. I didn't have a home anymore.

But it reminded me of better times.


	3. Chapter 3 (Teaser)

**Quick teaser. I will post the rest tomorrow. Thanks for everyone who reviewed, I really love reading what you guys think. :D **

"So this is the human that is supposed to tame the Hul-"

I screamed and turned around shoving my Taser towards the person, repeatedly using it on them. The man was clad in green, black and gold. He was extremely attractive…you know, when he wasn't sneaking up on people.

"Oh Merlin!" I hissed,

The man lay unconscious on the ground.

"Did I go too far?" I asked, pushing my hair away from my face and looking at Steve.

He looked at me, "You tasered a GOD, Haven!"

Thor chose this moment to storm into the room. Looking between Loki and me, he looked uncertain as though he wasn't sure that I was capable of doing such a thing, until he looked down at my hand. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the Taser.

It was like those shows that take place in the Old West, and there's two enemies facing down one another. Only, I couldn't imagine Thor wearing a cowboy hat while facing down a Taser…

Looking back at the blond once more, I decided yes. Yes, I could.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, sorry if the teaser was confusing. Loki ISNT free to walk around, it's just…UGH just read the chapter :P Thank you for the review by the way. I'll probably post another teaser later today.**

**I'm aiming for coming chapter to be roughly 1000-2000 words.**

**Fav, review, follow because...you should. :) Okay, read on.**

Haven POV

_I was under the shade of an odd tree, dark leaves had fallen, creating a dark halo around the tree. Under it, before me stood a figure._

_"__Hel, why have you called me here?" I asked the woman cloaked in darkness._

_She bowed low to me, her dark hair acting as a curtain, hiding her face from my view. Even now she chose never to look at me._

_"__You will be meeting Loki Laufeyson soon. Be prepared, Master." She said,_

_Her melodic voice was the only thing that could be heard._

_"__For what?" I asked, "I've left the world of Magic."_

_I could sense a smirk on her face, even if I couldn't see it, "If you'd truly left, then you would not have brought your wands. The world of Magic is a part of you. It will pull you back, no matter how far you seek to run."_

_"__What ar-"_

_Before I could ask, the darkness seemed to fade all around me._

_-x-_

Just as we got onto the _flying contraption of death, _an explosion rocked it. I was thrown into Thor as Tony ran towards the source of the explosion. Thor steadied me and said,

"Lady Potter, I will retrieve someone to stay with you." He called, also running off.

"Yeah," I mumbled to myself, "leave with witch alone in a flying contraption filled with technology, what could go wrong?"

My hand slipped into the messenger bag, fingering both my wand and the taser before deciding on the taser. I slipped it out and –

"Miss Potter." I turned and tasered the person behind me.

"Oh Merlin, oh Merlin. I'm so sorry Steve." I said,

Brushing a hand where he got tasered, he gave me a tentative smile, "It is fine, and the fault was mine. I startled you."

I was sure I was blushing insanely when he added, "That is a _very good_ taser."

I mumbled a sorry towards the hero.

"So this is the human that is supposed to tame the Hul-"

I screamed and turned around shoving my taser towards the person, repeatedly using it on them. The man was clad in green, black and gold. He was extremely attractive…you know, when he wasn't sneaking up on people.

"Oh Merlin!" I hissed,

The man lay unconscious on the ground.

"Did I go too far?" I asked, pushing my hair away from my face and looking at Steve.

He looked at me, "You tasered a GOD, Haven!"

Thor chose this moment to storm into the room. Looking between Loki and me, he looked uncertain as though he wasn't sure that I was capable of doing such a thing, until he looked down at my hand. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the taser.

It was like those shows that take place in the Old West, and there's two enemies facing down one another. Only, I couldn't imagine Thor wearing a cowboy hat while facing down a taser…

Looking back at the blond once more, I decided yes. Yes, I could.

The taser was snatched out of my hand and I rounded towards Steve, glaring at him.

"What was that for?" I screeched,

"I do _not _trust you with this taser." Steve said, holding it high out of my reach as I jumped trying to grab it.

"What is _reindeer games _doing on the floor?" I heard the voice of Tony call, followed by numerous footsteps.

I of course ignored then and I jump, grabbing Steve's arm and trying to grab the taser, all the while screeching about this being attempted theft and completely unprofessional.

"Haven seems to believe electrocuting people is a very fun pass time." Steve says calmly, grabbing me around the waist as setting me down onto the floor beside him.

He took two steps and handed the taser to a man in an eye patch who is staring at me.

I looked around him and saw some familiar faces like Natasha and Tony, and two others, a very professional looking man in a perfectly tailored suit. He had an odd shadow over him, and I realized that he had been very close to death…too close. And I'd interfered.

There was another man, one more nervous, standing a bit away from everyone else. His clothes were ruffled as though he rushed to put them on. Even his hair was messy and I knew, this was Dr. Bruce Banner.

I turned my glare towards the man with the eye patch and hissed,

"You better be handing me that taser back! That's the famous taser that was used to taser this guy,"

I said, hooking my thumb towards Thor.

He of course ignored my warning and said, "Miss Potter. It seems you've come at a perfect time. I am Nick Fury." He looks down at Loki and smirks, "It seems you have other abilities if you can take out a God."

"No, I have a trusty taser, that you've just stolen, Sir."

Loki groaned on the floor, his eyes snapping open to glare at me.

"Pathetic mortal scum!" He hissed at me from his place on the floor.

Then his eyes went lower, I followed his gaze see the resurrection stone, which must have slipped out in my tasering frenzy.

"The Deathly Hallows…" he whispered with a glint in his eyes as he was taken away by a large group of agents.

I look around quickly, thankful that it wasn't loud enough to be heard by regular humans.

Thor on the other hand knows about them, of which I am sure. His eyes fell to the necklace as well as I slipped it back under my shirt.


	5. Chapter 5(Teaser)

**A/N Haven is jumpy because of her past which will be explained later on. The only hint I'll give you is that it all ties in with her not wanting to use magic too often and the Deathly Hallows. Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I don't have time to post the entire chapter today but here's two teasers.**

"Do you believe to that you know me? That you know what I think? I AM A GOD!" Loki screeched.

"Well…technically you're a Frost Giant…" I mumbled, "And I mean, I did taser you…so I mean, you probably wanted to kill me...so I mean…"

"Give. Me. The. Stone."

"No."

"Are all mortals this annoying?" He glared at me.

"Well…I wouldn't be if you told me your plan." I reasoned,

"No." He said in a taunting tone.

"While we wait, let me get this straight, Thor's weapon is a totally awesome hammer and you…you have a walking stick?" I asked, leaning against the glass, "I mean, come on, how do you intend to invoke fear in others while carrying a walking stick? That's like trying to take over the world while being bald and nose-less, it just comes back to bite you in the arse."

"Please bring the redhead back."

-x-

"Please get my taser." I begged,

Steve smiled down at me and said, "No Haven, I believe you've abused the taser."

I turned to Fury, pouting, but he was unfazed. Then I got an idea,

"What if I could calm Hulk down? Will you give it back to me?" I asked,

Fury stared at me for a while before nodding and turning to leave the room.

"Wait! Where's the lab?" I called behind a retreating Fury.

I turned to Steve with hopeful eyes and he nodded slightly, "I will take you."

As we walked down the hall, I asked, "Do you think I could taser Tony?"

"Why would you wish to do that?" Steve asked, but the glint in his eyes was unmistakable.

"I don't like his pick-up lines."

He stared down at me for a second as we stopped in front of a door.

"Don't tell anyone I let you do this."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N PLEASE READ**

**I just wanted to clear things up.**

**1. Sorry, the first few chapters were so short but I didn't get time to write too much, hopefully this is a better length.**

**2. Pairing…well A LOT of people don't like the pairing so if you guys have a specific pairing you want, let me know.**

**3. The story isn't going to be 'light' per say, there will be a lot of funny banter between Haven and characters…which leads to the big thing.**

**4. Haven's OC. It's not pointless, I swear. This chapter will sort of explain a bit…but the rest will be explained later.**

**This chapter is a little darker…just a warning. Nothing too bad. **

**Word count: 2075**

_He loomed over the girl, his red eyes twinkling with glee at her horrified expression. His hands wrapped gently around the wand he had aimed to her neck._

_"__Don't worry, I won't kill you. Not yet." He hissed, "Plus, I have a gift for you."_

_The girl with unruly dark hair and green eyes glared up at the man through the pain of numerous cruciatus curses being shot at her from the death eaters lined against the wall._

_"__A..g..gift for you.r…fellow…ha..half-blood?" the girl asked, in between screams of anguish._

_He paid no mind to the girl withering on the ground as he open a beautiful case to reveal an opal necklace._

_"__D..Dumbledore…d..estroyed." _

_"__No, no silly girl," HE said, laughing like a lunatic, "You see, I had two made, and this one, this one's for you."_

_Memories flashed before the girl's eyes, of Katie. Katie who was unfortunate enough to have touched the necklace made for Dumbledore, Katie who was in a possessed state and in pain as she was lifted into the air. Katie who remembered nothing afterwards._

_"__Worry not, this one is different. You see Haven, this one doesn't seek to kill the wearer instantly. This curse gives the wearer a slow torturous death, first it taints the magic, then it taints the soul, then it..well I shall leave the rest as a surprise."_

_She tried to move away but her body was frozen, whether from fear or a spell, she had no idea. But as the cool metal wrapped around her neck, there was silence, as dozens eyes around the room beneath masks focused on the girl who was silent. The silence was short lived as her body arched and agonizing blood curling screams filled the room._

_First it starts with the magic._

_Then it taints the soul._

_And then…_

_-x-_

Dr. Bruce Banner was the only one on the floor, and the only one who heard her cries. Walking into the girl's room, he was shocked, darkness seemed to leak from the girl and cover everything in the room, and the girl herself was six feet in the air, having what seemed to be a nightmare. His hand curled around the screaming girl's shoulder. Her body glistened with sweat.

"Miss Potter. Haven, wake up."

A gasp silenced the scream and piercing red eyes shot open. The darkness seemed to draw back into her.

"Haven…" Bruce tried,

When nothing happened, he felt Hulk stir within him, but this was not from anger, rather, it was from pure undiluted fear.

"HAVEN!"

Red faded to reveal green, but even now, the green had an odd tint to it, not quite normal.  
" , whatever are you doing here?" Her voice sounded odd, scratchy, as though unused.

"I..You were screaming Haven." Bruce said, walking away towards the door slowly.

"Won't you stay a bit longer?" She asked as her hand behind her back curled around the Elder wand.

"N..no. I don't think I will." Bruce said, turning towards the door.

"Bruce?" the same scratchy voice seemed to become darker,

Bruce's hand curled around the door but he turned, reluctantly towards the girl, glancing down at her arm quickly before returning to her face.

"Yes Haven?"

"I don't suggest telling anyone of what happened here."

"I won't." Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Haven?"

"Yes?" this voice was no longer that of a female, it was horrible, scratchy, rough, and angry.

"What have you got behind your back?"

"Why don't you ask _Hulk _what he thinks?" the voice taunted, becoming louder and starting to sound like a creature, not a human.

Bruce didn't know what she..it meant. Hulk wasn't an inner voice, he couldn't control him. But the more he thought about what could be behind Haven, one word echoed in his mind.

_Run_

His eyes shot up to Haven, whose hair was covering dark red eyes. A sick smile curled at the end of her lips.

"He says nothing."

"Don't lie to me Bruce." She taunted, opening her mouth slightly.

The darkness seemed to _flow _out of her mouth, advancing towards Bruce.

"Well, I'll be leaving." Bruce turned to leave, only to hear the sick voice utter one word.

"STUPEFY!"

And then there was nothing.

-x-

_"__Haven, you need to tell us what happened!" The old man with a long beard cried, his worry for the girl only becoming worse as he watched the normally kind and intelligent girl childishly trying to play with the end of her cloak, covered in scars._

_"__Poppy, what is wrong with her?" A man in black asked, his dark eyes filled with worry, shocking everyone in the room._

_"__Do you want to know Seve-"_

_"__He doesn't like you." The girl said, no longer acting childish as she fixed her gaze at the old headmaster._

_"__Who doesn't like me, Miss Potter?" Albus Dumbledore asked, leaning towards the girl_

_"__Can I have my wand?" She asked sweetly, _

_Reluctantly Dumbledore handed the girl her wand, instantly being shot back into the wall by the amount of dark magic being pushed at him as soon as the girl grasped the wand._

_"__I don't like you." The girl said, but her voice was no longer her own, it was dark and eerie, filled with hate, a voice that belonged to the darkest of creatures._

_The girl's eyes flashed red as she lifted her wand smirking as the Professor reached for his wand.  
"I'm in your head, I hear everything. You foolish man. Can you not feel me? The pain and fear seeping through your bones. That is me!"_

_With a flick of her wrist, Albus Dumbledore's wand was in her hand._

_"__STUPEFY!" _

_Haven Potter fell to the ground, dropping both wands. Behind her stood none other than Severus Snape, his wand pointed at her back._

_"__You were saying Poppy," he drawled, though the shock in his eyes was easily noticeable._

_As she retrieved Dumbledore's wand for him, she said,_

_"__There are two people within Miss Potter's body…no, that is not correct. There are two entities. One is that __thing __you just saw. It's dark, extremely dark, and it feeds off of her knowledge, her magic and her soul. The other is Miss Potter's own soul. Even when she is herself, she isn't. All the time, the entity is in her mind, trying to seep through. It forces Miss Potter to act childish, or stubborn, it tampers with Miss Potter's memories. It causes her to act like it wants even when she is herself. It is noticeable in small comments she makes. It is because most of her mind constantly tries to fight the entity, to confine it, she can only access a small amount of her mind. But it's strange, the entity, it doesn't want to hurt Miss Potter, quite the contrary, it seems to want to protect her."_

_"__Have you ever seen anything like it?" asked Severus, helping Poppy place the girl on a bed._

_"__Yes and no. A similar entity has been seen before, and though it manifests differently, it is quite similar to Miss Potter's."_

_"__And who is in a case similar to Miss Potter's?"_

_"__A Muggle named Bruce Banner."_

_-x-_

_Darcy smiled over at Haven as her friend seemed so lost in the book._

_"__You never did tell me about your school Haven. Where did you go?" Darcy asked,_

_"__You know, it's funny, I don't remember anything before my seventh year. I went to a boarding school in Scotland for that year…but…before then, I don't remember. No names, no teachers, nothing I learned. It's like I learned everything that last year."_

_Darcy scoffed, "I know right? My school year was unmemorable too…I hated everyone there."_

_-x-_

_"__The Hulk, Haven? It's a lost cause, there's no cure."_

_Haven's hand gripped the microscope beneath her, tears silently falling down her face. She didn't look up though, not wanting her coworkers to see her cry._

_"__I didn't say the Hulk! I said __like__ the Hulk. It's a personal project anyways."_

_The murmurs of her coworkers seemed deafening, but her tone made it obvious that this was not for debate._

_-x-_

Haven's body hurt, along with her head. She looked around the room to find it completely empty, but something didn't feel right. Looking down, she saw her hand was wrapped around none other than the Elder wand. Rushing off of her bed, she pulled out her bag from under the bed, quickly opening it, she sighed with relief. There, above all the clothes was the Opal Necklace.

Grabbing a pin from the bedside table, Haven cut her finger, allowing a drop of her blood to fall on the slide she was holding underneath her finger.

She quickly slipped the slide under the microscope she'd all but refused to join the Avengers without, and then she looked down.

"It's evolving."

-x-

Loki's eyes shot open, even in the darkness, he could see the girl walk towards him. She was nervous, that was obvious from her posture and the way she fidgeted. But there was something more, something he'd missed the last time. A darkness.

"Hello Haven," He sneered, "Or shall I say, Master of Death?"

"I need your help." She said,

"And what do I get in return?"

"I'll free you from Thanatos' control. You need my help as well Loki."

"Do you believe to that you know me? That you know what I think? I AM A GOD!" Loki screeched.

"Well…technically you're a Frost Giant…" Haven mumbled, "And I mean, I did taser you…so I mean, you probably wanted to kill me...so I mean…"

"Give. Me. The. Stone."

"No."

"Are all mortals this annoying?" He glared at her

"Well…I wouldn't be if you told me your plan." She reasoned,

"No." He said in a taunting tone.

"While we wait, let me get this straight, Thor's weapon is a totally awesome hammer and you…you have a walking stick?" Haven asked, leaning against the glass, "I mean, come on, how do you intend to invoke fear in others while carrying a walking stick? That's like trying to take over the world while being bald and nose-less, it just comes back to bite you in the arse."

"Please bring the redhead back."

"When was Natasha here?" She asked, her eyes flashing red.

Loki's eyes lit with excitement, "Oh, I see now."

He walked closer to the glass that separated them and said, "It's beautiful how tainted you are Miss Potter. Give me the stone and I will _cleanse _you."

"Have you ever loved Loki?" Haven asked,

"Foolish emotion."

"Then the stone will do you no good. It is used to revive _loved ones_ from the grave. You have no heart."

"You believe me to be heartless?" Loki asked, smirking.

"I believe you possess a physical heart, an emotional one…I doubt."

Haven turned to leave, only to be stopped by Loki's laugh,

"Oh how silly of me. HAVEN POTTER. THE HAVEN POTTER? Saviour of the Wizarding World? The one they turned their backs on, believing that she was going dark?"

-x-

**Haven POV**

"Haven, you are up early."

I turned my head back to see Steve walk into the room, I smiled at him a little before remembering something.

"Please get my taser." I begged,

Steve smiled down at me and said, "No Haven, I believe you've abused the taser."

I turned to Fury, pouting, but he was unfazed. Then I got an idea,

"What if I could calm Hulk down? Will you give it back to me?" I asked,

Fury stared at me for a while before nodding and turning to leave the room.

"Wait! Where's the lab?" I called behind a retreating Fury.

I turned to Steve with hopeful eyes and he nodded slightly, "I will take you."

As we walked down the hall, I asked, "Do you think I could taser Tony?"

"Why would you wish to do that?" Steve asked, but the glint in his eyes was unmistakable.

"I don't like his pick-up lines."

He stared down at me for a second as we stopped in front of a door.

"Don't tell anyone I let you do this.

-x-

Bruce Banner woke up with a massive headache, his heart beating wildly. Today was the day that he would meet Haven Potter, a fellow scientist who would be helping them.

Something felt odd to him though, as though he'd already met her. Obviously it hadn't happened but he also found it off how he didn't remember anything from the previous night.


End file.
